Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Hostilities Resumed

After centuries of warfare between the planetary systems of New Francisco and the people of the Aggressor Collection, the first intrepid steps have been taken to forge a lasting peace. The war has shattered economies and cost countless lives. As always, both sides started their negotiations with ridiculous and unreasonable demands knowing that they could be used as bargaining chips towards the real peace settlement.

The talks lasted for thirteen months as both sides negotiated almost as fiercely as they had fought. And so, came the day when the peace was to be signed. The rulers of both great star systems came together on New Francisco to afix their names to the final terms that would ensure peace in both realms. The majestic Shan Chu Rissa finally met face-to-face with his lifelong enemy the Ponderous Emperor Minlix. With no speeches, they signed the peace treaty and the Emperor accepted the Shan Chu's invitation to a traditional dinner.

The evening went well initially. Emperor Minlix seemed to enjoy the food and was lavishly served by a bevy of lovely females. Shan Chu Rissa asked numerous questions about Aggressor culture. Then came the fortune cookies.

At first, Emperor Minlix was confused by the fortune cookie custom but one of his lovely servants explained it to him. After reading the fortune, Emperor Minlix strode across the table and brutally stabbed the Shan Chu. The ensuing battle between both leader's bodyguards left a sizeable crater in the North Banquet Hall and blew out one entire wall of the Imperial Fortress.

Shan Chu Rissa is in critical condition but is expected to fully recover as soon as one of his clones can be brought out of storage. Emperor Minlix escaped with half his bodyguard on his yacht. They also damaged the Near Space Sensor Array and stopped to paint graffitti on the Lonely Bridge.

After extensive research, this reporter has acquired the fortune in question: Never settle for less than you deserve.

In other news, the Imperial Defense Forces have issued new conscriptions for glorious combat service.

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